Crazy Dreams
by thunder sister
Summary: Just random dream I have. If you're looking for a laugh then here it is.


Disclaimer: Dude, if you don't what this is then I suggest that you get help.  
  
Crazy Dreams  
  
Author's Note: Uhm, well, to start this all off, I want to say how I got this idea. I didn't. I get them in dreams. I don't when I will get them or how. I just get them in my crazy subconscious mind. If I don't update fast then blame it all on my sleeping self. I don't want flames. I'll start off with a warning. If you like Peach, then I suggest that you turn back and don't ever come read this story ever. If, you like Zelda and hate Peach, this fanfic is made just for you.  
  
By: thunder sister  
  
Chapter 1: My First Dream  
  
~~~  
  
One day Princess Peach became evil. She started to take over the land of Hyrule and torture the people there. Zelda, Marth, and Roy became her servants after she conquered Hyrule. Princess Peach made Marth and Zelda serve her while Roy was her All-Important Royal Hunter.  
One day, Zelda was out picking flowers for Peach. Meanwhile, Peach walked up to her magic mirror.  
She asked," Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best, most good-looking princess out of all those pathetic brats, who are very fortunate to even get the royal title?"  
"The princess whose name is Zelda," replied the mirror calmly, unaware to what might Princess Peach do to it.  
"What!" screamed Peach.  
"Oh will you just shut up?" said the mirror with an annoyed tone in its voice," The only reason I didn't pick you is because you're just too evil that it disgusts me. I can't believe you actually became a princess. From what I had heard, you were the result of an unusual accident."  
Peach became so angry that she punched the mirror into small pieces. So small, even the narrator of this particular dream, that is me, can not see the pieces with my glasses on from 100 miles away. (Wait; maybe that's why I can't see too well. *_*) She, as in Peach, called on Marth to do an errand for her.  
She said," Marth, I want you to kill Zelda, and to make sure you have fulfilled your duties, put her heart in this box."  
Naturally, Marth was shocked at Peach's request. Marth loved Zelda, and had known and befriended her ever since yesterday. (I know it's shocking for someone to love another after only 16 hours of brief meeting, but tell that to my subconscious.) Anyway, he told her all about Peach's evil schemes and hid her in his house. (He hid her for 6 years, 6 weeks, 6 days, 6 hours, 6 seconds.*feh* Let's just say that Marth hid Zelda for so long that the narrator got so tired of waiting and the recording company had to hire a new one. *whew! * Long wasn't it?)  
When he couldn't hide her any longer, he built a cabin in the middle of the woods and left Zelda there. Everyday, Marth came and went to give her food. Roy came and went also to give Zelda water.  
One day, Roy left Zelda alone in the cabin to get water from a fresh waterfall a few miles from where Zelda is. So Zelda had to stay alone in the lonely cabin in the middle of the quiet woods.  
  
Well of course, Princess Peach got a new mirror. The mirror told to Peach that Princess Zelda was alive and well. It also told her that Zelda now lives in a lone cabin in the middle of the woods. Peach got so furious. She disguised herself as an old beggar woman. Peach decided to make apple juice and poison it, but the apple orchards did not produce apples yet so she had to use oranges. Peach was in such a hurry that she only juiced half an orange and forgot to put in the poison. Then she went on her way to the middle of the woods.  
There, Zelda was busy sweeping the floor of the cabin. She was humming a merry tune while she swept.  
After a long walk, Princess Peach finally reached the cabin. Peach was tired so she held onto the cabin's doorknob and started to pant. Zelda took one look at the disguised Peach and felt pity get the better of her. So she invited Peach in the cabin for something to drink since it was such a hot, summer day in the middle of the woods.  
Peach said nicely," Dear girl, since you have been generous enough to invite me to your cabin, you deserve a drink."  
"Well I am thirsty," replied Zelda.  
She drank the orange, completely oblivious to the half orange going down her throat. Then she started to choke on it. (Of course, who wouldn't?) Peach started staring at her with delight. Since the half orange was blocking her throat, Zelda couldn't breathe so she fainted and fell to the floor because of the lack of oxygen. Thinking she was dead, the Princess Peach laughed an evil laugh of success.  
Finally, Roy finished filling a large jar full of water and went to the cabin to give it to Zelda, but when he got there he saw the evil Princess Peach beaming at her success. Roy became so angry that he sliced Peach in half with his sword. Thinking Zelda was dead, Roy left both the princesses there, and ran like a deer being chased by a jumble of predators that will eat it into a bloody pulp if it doesn't hurry up and run for its life over to Marth's house.  
Eventually, he reached Marth and told him everything in his knowledge about Zelda and Peach being in the cabin.  
"What!" exclaimed Marth," And you didn't stop Peach! How could you?"  
He grabbed Roy's throat and shook him wildly.  
"You idiot!" Marth shouted as he threw Roy away," Oh well. You can't change the past."  
Marth went as quickly as he can to the cabin. There, he saw Zelda lying on the floor and Peach in two perfect halves. When he saw Zelda he thought she was dead. He panicked and he did mouth-to-mouth CPR on her. (O.o I sure am glad I am not Zelda, or am I .) Then, he saw that half an orange is stuck in her throat that actually gave him an idea. He started to rub Zelda's throat upward. Then Zelda started to gain consciousness. She sat up and started to cough. She finally coughed up the orange half.  
Marth asked," Are you ok?"  
Zelda grabbed Marth's collar and replied," I (pant) just (pant) choked (pant) on half an (pant) orange. Do you (pant) think I WOULD BE ALRIGHT?"  
"Ok, ok. I get the picture," said Marth," You don't have to scream at the top of your lungs. You'll make me deaf."  
(On top of Marth and Zelda's head is a bright light bulb that nearly made me blind. Wait. I AM BLIND! WHY, WHY?) Suddenly, both Marth and Zelda had the same exact idea. They looked at each other and nodded. Marth unsheathed his sword, and Zelda used her magic to create a beam sword. They teamed up and started to slice Peach into tiny, itty, bitty pieces. Then, hand in hand, they went back to Hyrule.  
When they got there they stared at it because of all the horrible things Peach has done to it. Marth and Zelda volunteered to help the people that were tortured by the evil Princess Peach. Marth would heal the physical wounds while Zelda healed the emotional wounds. Everybody would line up to Marth and then go to Zelda.  
Since Roy was last in line, Marth asked Roy to do a favor for him. He told him to give Zelda the box that he was holding. After Roy was completely healed, he gave Zelda the small box.  
He said," It's from Marth."  
Zelda took the box from and thanked him. She noticed Marth take glances of her every now and then. Zelda then opened the box suspiciously. When she saw what was inside she gasped as if she couldn't breathe. What the box held was a wedding ring. (Of course, it's a clear-cut diamond because Marth is a prince and most royalty are flooded with overwhelming wealth.)  
Zelda walked over to Marth, who was blushing, and asked," Is this for me? Are you asking me to marry you?"  
Marth looked at Zelda's puzzled expression and nodded ever so nervously as sweat drops of doubt ran down the sides of his head. Zelda simply just smiled. She put her arms around his neck and said I do in the most innocent way.  
Days later.............(after the wedding)  
It was midnight, and Zelda and Marth were getting ready for bed. Meanwhile, in the cabin in the middle of the forest, where Peach's grave lies, was hit by the moon's eerie glow.  
Suddenly, out of the ground came Peach in zombie-like appearance. She had no eyeballs and her skin was half eaten by mushrooms and leeches and the other half was just plain decaying. Peach only had about ten strands of hair stuck to her scalp.  
She made her way to Hyrule castle, where the Princess Zelda was going to sleep. After a few long hours, Peach reached the door to Zelda's bedroom. She opened it and came to do her job, haunting. Zelda was sleeping obliviously while dreaming about burnt fish sticks. When Peach was halfway across the room, an apple came out of nowhere and made Peach trip. Her cheek scratched the floor, and green-looking make-up came off, revealing soft, living skin underneath.  
Out of nowhere a person named Link shouted," Cut!" And a sword cut a lamp in half as Mr. Link said the word. He said," Roy! Stop eating those apples! I know they're good for you, but that is the reason you have red hair. Ok, make-up managers, a part of Peach's make-up wore off so I want you to make a new one. Zelda! I didn't say for you to get up! Go back to sleeping! Prop men, where's the lamp I requested and my prop? Move it! Move your lazy behind, Marth! The only reason I pay you is so we could make the movie and get on with our pathetic lives! Hey you! Didn't I say move it!"  
"Well. sorry director, but this is only rehearsal so you don't have to say cut," said the annoyed, pissed-off Zelda," I just woke up to see what's going on so boo-yah!"  
Link shouted," Watch your mouth when you're talking to me woman. And that's Mr. Director to you. Hey Roy! Didn't I say stop eating those apples. Hey! Do you miscomprehend me because I could tell you the message in 6 different languages? Marth! You're in the next scene so get you're costume ready and please transport yourself to the location that you are needed!"  
Everybody is seen with a drooping sweat drop hanging by his or her heads. (Like this, ^,^;; heh, heh, heh, ugh.)  
  
~~~  
  
Author's Note: I am crazy. Look at the title of this fanfic. It's called Crazy Dreams for a reason. Well, read, and review please. 


End file.
